Flat Tire Blues

For awhile now my neck has been really tight and I've assumed that has been the cause of the headaches I've been getting lately. Well today I decided to do something about it. I made a 3:30 appointment to see my Naprapath, and being the gentleman that I am, made an appointment at 4 for my lovely girlfriend. So at 3 I head out to Orland Park for my appointment, his office is right by the mall. Just after I leave he calls me and asks if we could move our appointments to 4:00 and 4:30 and I say yes, as I said I'm a nice guy. So I arrive at 3:30 and decide to kill time at the mall. So about 3:50 I head back to my car and notice that my driver side rear tire is flat. Fuck.

Ironically enough I parked in between an NTB and the Sears auto center. So I get out my jack and tire iron and doughnut tire. I jack up the car and I try to get the lugnuts off. No luck. They won't budge, and the tire keeps spinning. I've changed flat tires before, though not on this car, but the problem is that I usually have no idea what I'm doing whenever I do anything. I can't get the lugnuts to budge and I then realize that I'm going to need some assistance. I don't want to leave the car unattended on the jack so I lower it and toss everything in the trunk and head across the parking lot to the NTB. I was planning to take my car there since I purchased my tires from the NTB in Crestwood two years ago. However, they don't sell anything I could use. The guy actually told me to go to Sears. So I did. I walked across the parking lot and into Sears. I explain my situation and tell the guy what I need. He sells me some stuff and tells me that after I change the tire to just drive it right into the service center. So I am all alone on this one.

In case you are wondering about my appointment my girlfriend took my time and I'm trying to make it by 4:30. So I get back to my car and get all my shit out again. The good thing is the car next to me left so I have more room. I jack it up and spray the lugnuts. No luck. I then decide to resort to the book. Every car comes with a book and this book needs to stay in the car, anyone who takes it out is an idiot. I am also an idiot because I was supposed to loosen the lug nuts before I jack up the car. So I lower the car, and then I hear a car horn. I look to see a car trying to get my attention, they want to park in the empty spot. I ignore them. "Excuse me" I hear a woman say. I stand up. "Can I park here?" "I guess so, I'm trying to change my tire." "Oh I'm sorry." She rolls up her window and drives away. What the fuck? Wasn't it obvious, I didn't drop my keys or something.

So the car is on the ground, finally, and I spray the lugnuts some more, just in case. I then try to loosen them, and I am moving the entire car forward, which really throws me at first. Fuck it, I put all my strength into it and I finally ge one to budge. Repeat that three times and up goes the car again. After removing the tire I was really happy I didn't have a rag and my hoodie became my grease rag. Though most of it instantly bonded with my hand. I'm finishing putting the last lug nut on the doughnut when a guy walks up to me. "Need help?" he asks. "No, I've got it under control." "What happened?" I think, are you seriously asking this. What happened? What happened? What the fuck do you think happened. "I drove over a nail or a screw," which is what I did. "Oh flat tire, that sucks." Then he walked away.

So I am super paranoid about driving on a doughnut but I do, and was successful. I took it to Sears, hey the guy from NTB told me to. Luckily they were able to repair it and I didn't need a new tire. I told them to call me when it was ready and I took off for my appointment, which was right across the parking lot, but in a different direction. I was late, but the doctor didn't have anyone scheduled right after me.